Jen- I never write responses but I couldn't resist your post. Don't give up... It took many months of heartache, frustration, and a couple good freakouts, but my husband is now on here as 'submit2me' and loves it all, including shiniez, as much as I do. I disagree with koro... you definitely need to talk about it and explain what it is you like and why. If it's something you feel you want/need, a good boyfriend would at least hear you out and do some reading first before refusing to even try! good luck to you!
Talking is good, I never said anything against good and honest conversation. But if he's sick of the word 'bdsm' maybe she should do it in a smarter way? What is BDSM for you? Only latex, bondage and stuff? C'mon. It all starts in our minds. With a specific look, with a wording... you keep making your life more and more spicy. And the time for the bondage will come. Very often people are scared of BDSM, because they have never tried. And all they know about this is what they have googled. Which is not a good source to fight with our fears, would you agree? 'I don't know what is, but I don't want to try' - what does is says to you? Only talking won't help. Some nice surprise could do it better. Put him handcuffs, when he's turned on. You don't have to be 'into-BDSM' to do that. Prepare a dinner wearing only a pinny. And slowly, smoothly you'll start to cross boundaries to the world of bdsm.
On the other hand you could change tactic a little. If he doesn't like to play with strings or other ropes maybe you should change tool. I propose scarf only around tour wrists as first retry (concept of tie was destroyed by Mr Gray). Treat it as first step and wait until he gets familiar with it, maybe he will suggest next steps or at least agree to push it further (confirmed strategy).
I agree. It is a really stressful situation when you can't find fulfillment in your lover when it's a "taboo", especially when you're denied after gathering the courage to ask.
Sta.sh
'I don't know what is, but I don't want to try' - what does is says to you? Only talking won't help. Some nice surprise could do it better. Put him handcuffs, when he's turned on. You don't have to be 'into-BDSM' to do that. Prepare a dinner wearing only a pinny. And slowly, smoothly you'll start to cross boundaries to the world of bdsm.
If he doesn't like to play with strings or other
ropes maybe you should change tool. I propose scarf
only around tour wrists as first retry (concept of tie
was destroyed by Mr Gray).
Treat it as first step and wait until he gets familiar
with it, maybe he will suggest next steps or at least
agree to push it further (confirmed strategy).